A Cruel Miracle
by aethra
Summary: NiCo. Since her miscarriage all Courtney has wanted was a second chance to be a mother, what will she do when her prayers are finally answered?
1. I Can't

Authors Note: I've changed the timeline a little here. Courtney conceives later than she did on the show, so there is no chance that the baby is Jax's.

Chapter One - I can't

Elizabeth hummed softly to herself as she pushed the stroller. It was a beautiful day in early October, probably one of the last pleasant days they would have this fall and she was determined to enjoy it, she was taking her son to the park. Elizabeth smiled as she watched the other children playing on the playground. Cam was still too young for slides and monkey bars but he did love the sandbox, and because of her work she rarely got to take him these days. Elizabeth was so preoccupied with getting her son settled with his shovel and bucket that it was a few moments before she saw the blonde sitting a few benches away. There was nothing unusual about a young woman sitting in the park, but something about this woman made her take a second look. Maybe it was the way she was watching the children without seeming to see them. It took Elizabeth a moment to recognize her but once she did, she was surprised that she hadn't noticed at once - that was Courtney.

It had been nearly a month since Elizabeth lost the child she had agreed to carry for Jax and Courtney and she still grieved for the loss of the little life that was never supposed to be hers in the first place. Perhaps it was her grief that had made her avoid Courtney the past few weeks, or made Courtney avoid her - she wasn't sure which. Or perhaps it was her lingering resentment over the fact that Courtney had come between Nikolas and Emily. In her more rational moments she did have to admit that Emily had pushed Nikolas away before Courtney ever came on the scene, but she knew that they would have worked things out if Courtney hadn't been there for Nikolas to turn to. Still, whatever difficulties lay between them good manners demanded that Elizabeth at least go and say 'hi.'

Leaving Cam gleefully throwing handfuls of sand into his bucket, he had long since dispensed with the shovel, Elizabeth nodded to one of the other mothers keeping an eye on the toddlers in the sandbox, an unspoken conversation only another mother could appreciate, and approached Courtney confident that the other would keep an eye on her son for a minute or two.

"Courtney," Elizabeth called with a forced smile. "Hi. I'm a little surprised to run into you here; I've never . . ." Elizabeth trailed off when Courtney didn't even turn in her direction or make any attempt to return her greeting. Having reached the other woman Elizabeth now noticed the blank expression on her face. Elizabeth reached out, touching Courtney lightly on the shoulder as she called her name again, "Courtney, is everything ok?"

"I can't," Courtney whispered, her expression unchanging. Her words were not directed towards Elizabeth; Elizabeth wasn't even sure now that Courtney was aware of her presence.

"Courtney," she called again, this time grasping Courtney's shoulder and shaking the blonde lightly to try and rouse her. But Courtney remained unresponsive.

"I can't," she whispered again. "I can't. I can't. I can't," the words became a mantra and were now accompanied by silent tears sliding down her cheeks unnoticed.

"Ok," Elizabeth said trying to soothe her, "you don't have to. You just sit here, ok? And I'll call Nikolas. He'll come get you and we'll sort it out, ok?" Elizabeth kept her tone calm hoping that on some level Courtney could here her. She didn't know what was wrong with the other woman, but figured the worst thing she could do would be to upset her further.

Elizabeth walked back toward the sandbox as she pulled out her cell phone and dialed Nikolas's number, she let out a sigh of relief when he answered, unsure of what she would have done if he hadn't. "Nikolas, it's Elizabeth," she said quickly. "I'm at the park. Can you meet me here?"

She listened to him for a moment and then explained, "Courtney's here, and she's upset about something."

"No, I don't know what she's upset about. She's just freaking out, and I don't know what to do."

"No, she doesn't seem to be hurt," Elizabeth hastened to assure him, "She's just sitting there crying and saying 'I can't' over and over again. I tried talking to her, but it's like she doesn't even notice that I'm here."

"I'll stay with her until you get here," Elizabeth promised, "but hurry."

Closing her phone, Elizabeth smiled as she approached the woman she'd made eye contact with earlier. "Thank you for keeping an eye on Cam for me. I didn't expect to take so long."

"It's not a problem," the older woman assured her. "Is everything alright? I couldn't help but notice . . ." she trailed off nodding in Courtney's direction.

"I don't know," Elizabeth replied honestly. "She a - friend, I guess." Elizabeth stumbled, unsure of how to characterize her relationship with Courtney and certainly not interested in sharing the details with a stranger so she settled for a simplified description and continued, "I don't know what she's upset about but I called someone to come get her. I'm just going to stay with her until he gets here."

Elizabeth scooped up her squirming little boy and settled him back into his stroller. If she was going to wait with Courtney for Nikolas to arrive then she wanted her son where she could keep an eye on him. Digging a bottle of juice out of the diaper bag to quiet his protests, Elizabeth pushed the stroller back over toward the bench Courtney was occupying.

After a few more fruitless attempts to gain Courtney's attention Elizabeth settled down on the grass with Cam in her lap and began to read aloud. Perhaps the sound of her voice would be as soothing to the distressed woman as it was to the tired toddler. She was half way through _Fox in Socks_ when Nikolas arrived.

She rose to her feet, lifting Cam to her hip and waved at Nikolas from across the park to gain his attention. Elizabeth could see the worry in Nikolas's eyes as they swept over Courtney's still form. She had stopped chanting some time ago but the tears continued to wend a slow path down her cheeks and her expression remained blank. She looked lost.

Nikolas spoke to Elizabeth first, "Thank you for calling me," he began, courteous under even the most trying circumstances. Elizabeth smiled brushing aside his thanks with a quick shake of her head and he moved on to the problem at hand. "Do you have any idea what happened?" he asked watching Courtney's still form.

"Not a clue," Elizabeth responded. "She was exactly like this when I got here."

Nikolas nodded and then went to sit beside Courtney on the bench. "Courtney," he called softly just as Elizabeth had done but he got no response. He lay his hand on her shoulder and tried again, "Courtney, it's Nikolas. What's wrong?"

At last Courtney responded, "I can't" she murmured again and then her silent tears turned into sobs as she collapsed into his arms. "Nikolas, I can't - I can't do it."

Gathering her into his arms he let her weep as he promised her that she wouldn't have to.


	2. Unexpected News

Chapter Two - Unexpected News

Nikolas held her, rubbing her back and whispering soothing words until her sobs subsided. When she finally calmed, she pulled away from him and tried to wipe her eyes with her sleeve. Nikolas stopped her, catching her arm and offering his handkerchief instead. She accepted with a rueful smile and dried her face.

"I'm sorry," her voice was soft, a little hoarse from crying and she refused to meet his eyes.

"Hey," he whispered, catching her chin and turning her head so she would be forced to meet his eyes, "You have nothing to be sorry for." He released her, brushing a strand of hair out of her face and tucking it behind her ear before dropping his hand back into his lap.

"I completely lost it," Courtney protested, "in a public park, in the middle of the day. I'm sure everyone must think I'm some kind of lunatic." Courtney couldn't bring herself to look around sure that people were staring at her.

Nikolas shook his head and offered a comforting smile, "No one thinks you're a lunatic," he assured her, lying through his teeth. Several of the women in the park had been giving them worried looks since the moment she started crying.

"What are you doing here, anyway?" she asked, suddenly confused. Courtney could remember coming to the park to watch the children playing, but then everything got sort of dim and foggy. The next thing that she clearly remembered was an awareness that Nikolas was there and then she was crying.

"Elizabeth called me," he answered. "Do you remember her finding you here?" When Courtney shook her head wordlessly, he continued, "You were pretty out of it when Elizabeth found you and she was worried, so she called me."

"And you came," Courtney smiled. "You came because I needed you."

"You were a damsel in distress," he teased, "it's what princes do."

His smile faded after a moment and he looked into her eyes, "Want to tell me what you were so upset about?" he asked.

"I will," she promised, "but not here, ok? Let's go somewhere where we can talk." Alone, without being interrupted or overheard - those conditions were unspoken but understood.

Nikolas held her gaze for a moment longer before rising to his feet and holding out a hand to her. "How about we pick up something to eat and then go to Windemere, we can talk there."

Courtney nodded and taking his hand let him lead her away.

An hour later, Courtney was snuggled next to Nikolas on a couch in front of the fireplace. Nikolas knew that she was trying very hard not to think about whatever had upset her that afternoon, but, while he didn't want to upset her again, he needed to know what had happened if he was going to help her. And she had promised to tell him

So he decided to bring it up himself. "At the park this afternoon, you were saying something," he murmured, his voice calm. "Over and over again, you said 'I can't.'" Nikolas brushed a kiss against her temple as he whispered the question that had been plaguing him. "What can't you do, Courtney? What is it that has you so upset?"

Nikolas heard the hitch in her breathing as Courtney fought for calm. "I can't kill another baby," the words spilled out as if of their own volition.

Courtney felt the body underneath her stiffen, the sudden tension in his shoulders as he pulled away from her to look into her face, "What does that mean? What do you mean you can't kill another baby? Courtney, you didn't kill any baby."

"But I did," she protested. "I didn't mean to, I didn't want to. But I knew, I knew I was pregnant and still I was careless and - and I was stupid and my baby died. I was her mother and I was supposed to keep her safe and I killed her," there was a hysterical edge to Courtney's voice now and Nikolas grabbed her shoulders to get her attention.

"That wasn't your fault," his voice was firm. "Courtney you didn't choose to kill your baby. It was a tragedy and I'm sorry that you went through that but you can't blame yourself, you didn't choose to kill your baby."

"No, I didn't choose to kill my baby that time, but this time I would have to." Courtney was nearly limp in his arms and was once again shaking with sobs.

"What do you mean this time?" Nikolas broke off in shock. "Courtney, are you pregnant?"

"Yes," she whispered, "but it's more complicated than that."

Flashback

Courtney looked up from her seat next to the exam table as Dr. Meadows came in. "Thank you for seeing me so quickly," she said. "I - I don't know what to say, I mean, it's got to be wrong, right? I mean, it's like -- it's like one chance in a million. The pregnancy test came up positive."

Dr. Meadows's smile was reassuring. "Home pregnancy tests are generally reliable," she said. "I'm glad you called, though, and came in."

"Of course," Courtney replied, for her there had been no other option, this was like a dream come true. "Do you honestly think that I could be pregnant?"

"Well, I would say it was virtually impossible, I mean, given the complications from your miscarriage two years ago, but a pregnancy test may say otherwise," the doctor answered.

Courtney's smile was brilliant, "Ok. I'm trying not to get my hopes up here, but miracles can happen, right?"

Courtney was too caught up in her happiness to notice the sadness in the doctor's smile. "Let's just get you checked out," Dr. Meadows said. "We'll do a full exam and see where we stand, ok?"

Courtney agreed immediately. It wasn't until the doctor was finished with her exam and returned to the room with the results of her blood work that Courtney's dream turned into a nightmare.

She smiled up as Dr. Meadows reentered the room. "Well?" she asked, unable to hide the eagerness in her voice.

Dr. Meadows avoided her eyes, unable to look at the hopeful young woman as she once again destroyed her dreams. "I'm sorry, Courtney, but I'm afraid that I have some bad news."

Just like that the light in Courtney's eyes died, "I'm not pregnant, am I?" she whispered brokenly.

"I'm afraid it's more complicated than that, Courtney," she answered sadly. Dr. Meadows took a deep breath and then began to explain. "When you and your husband came to me because you wanted a baby, I warned you that it could be dangerous for you to try to carry a child." Dr. Meadows paused a moment and then took a different track, "when you miscarried you sustained damage to your uterus that will make it very difficult for you to successfully carry a child to term. I didn't go into detail about this before because the chances of you conceiving unassisted were so remote I didn't really consider it a concern. But now," she shook her head and continued. "Courtney, you are pregnant, but as your doctor I have to advise you that your best option would be to terminate the pregnancy."

"Terminate?" Courtney's voice shook. "You mean have an abortion? But, why would I do that?"

"You must understand, the chances of you successfully carrying to term are very small, and if you do miscarry, particularly in your second or third trimester, the chances that a miscarriage will imperil your own life are great," Dr. Meadows tried to put it as gently as she could. "Courtney the longer you continue this pregnancy the more dangerous it becomes. I know how difficult this must be for you, but -"

"Don't," Courtney interrupted her. "Don't say you know how difficult this is. You have no idea. I can't -" Courtney wanted to say that she couldn't kill her own baby but that wasn't true was it - she had done it before. "I can't do this right now," she rose to her feet and started to leave the room.

"Courtney," Dr. Meadows tried to stop her, "please you need to hear everything. You have a very important decision to make."

Courtney shook her off, "I can't even think about this right now, I'll call and make an appointment for later in the week." Courtney clung to her composure, grounding herself in the appropriate protocols. She had to keep it together until she got out of the hospital. If she broke down here there would be concerned people and questions and if she had to deal with that she might shatter completely. She fought back hysterical laughter as she wondered whether Sonny could get her a room near Carly's at Roselawn.

End Flashback

Courtney refused to look at Nikolas now. She had pulled away from him while she told him her news and now stood by the fireplace while he still sat on the couch. She turned and stared into the flames; she didn't want to know what he was thinking, her own thoughts were too much to endure all on their own. She wouldn't be able to take his sympathy or his anger. She knew he would be understanding, he would promise to support her, but the child she was talking about killing was his, how could he not be angry.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, each lost in their own thoughts. Courtney was so preoccupied with her own pain that she didn't even realize Nikolas had moved until he came up behind her and pulled her into his arms. "Thank you," he whispered.

Courtney looked up at him in shock, "Thank you?" she sputtered, "what could you possibly have to thank me for?" Those were the last words she could have expected him to say.

"For not shutting me out. For telling me what's happening." Nikolas continued to meet her eyes his expression solemn, "I know that this must be hard for you to talk about, I can't even imagine how hard, and I'm glad that you trust me enough to share it with me." Nikolas guided Courtney back over to the couch and sat down, pulling her down with him. "Whatever happens now, we'll handle it together, Courtney. I'm going to be there for you no matter what," he promised brushing a light kiss over the crown of her head andburying his face in her hair.


	3. The Morning After

Chapter Three - The Morning After

Nikolas woke up when he felt Courtney's sudden movement. One moment she had been sleeping beside him and the next she bolted from the bed. His head still fuzzy with sleep it took him a moment to realize what must have caused her distress.

Courtney looked up from where she knelt by the toilet and saw him crouching next to her with a towel and a glass of water. Once her stomach had settled he brushed the hair out of her face and handed her the water. "How you doing?" he asked softly.

She glared at him. "How do you think I'm doing?" she muttered irritably accepting the water to rinse out her mouth.

"Saved by the bell," Nikolas murmured kissing the side of her head before he hurried back into the bedroom to answer his ringing cell phone. Checking the caller ID before he picked up, Nikolas hesitated and decided not to answer. He turned back to the bathroom and watched Courtney at the sink.

She made a face at him in the mirror as she finished brushing her teeth. Then she rinsed out her mouth and turned around. "Why didn't you answer it?" she asked nodding to the phone in his hand.

"I didn't know what to say," he replied. "It was Elizabeth. I'm sure that she was calling to ask about you and we -" he fumbled searching for a gentle way to say it. "I wasn't sure how much you're comfortable having people know just yet." He couldn't imagine that Courtney would want people to know about the pregnancy when she might have no choice but to end it.

Courtney went to him and kissed him on the cheek. "It's very sweet of you to think of me first, but Elizabeth and Lucky are your family, I'm not going to ask you to keep secrets from them. And I'm sure that if you asked her to keep the news to herself, Elizabeth would."

"Thank you for understanding," he said pulling her more securely into his arms, "but maybe it would be best to keep this between us at least until after we've talked to your doctor. Until we have a better idea of what we're dealing with and what we're going to do."

Courtney clung to Nikolas's hand as they entered Dr. Meadows's office later that morning. She had been relieved to learn that the doctor was able to see her so quickly. "I'm sorry that I ran out on you yesterday," apologized as soon as they sat down. She strove to remain calm as she continued, "I just - just needed some time to process everything." She glanced at Nikolas and concluded by saying, "It's better this way anyway, Nikolas should be here for this."

Dr. Meadows glanced at Nikolas as well before returning her gaze to Courtney. "Am I correct in assuming then that Mr. Cassadine is the baby's father?" she asked.

"Yes," Courtney answered smiling at him.

"And are you sure you are comfortable having him here. You do have a very difficult choice to make. And it needs to be your choice, Courtney," Dr. Meadows reminded her gently.

Nikolas couldn't help but bristle at what the doctor was implying and he answered her himself before Courtney had a chance to. "I am here to support Courtney. She's already told me about the situation and I have promised her that I will support whatever decision she makes."

Dr. Meadows's gaze softened as she heard Nikolas's assurances. "I'm sorry if I offended you, Mr. Cassadine. My main concern here is Courtney and I just wanted to be sure that no one would pressure her into making a choice that might not be in her best interest."

Nikolas nodded a little coldly and started to respond, but Courtney stopped him with a quick touch to his hand and shake of her head. "I need Nikolas here," she told Dr. Meadows. "That's my choice."

She took a deep breath and then met Dr. Meadows gaze calmly "I really only have one question," she said. Dr. Meadows nodded at her to continue and she finally asked the question that had been plaguing her. "Is there any chance that I could give birth to a healthy baby?"

Dr. Meadows didn't want to give Courtney false hope or mislead her about the seriousness of her condition, but she also wouldn't lie to her. "It's possible, Courtney, but you must understand -"

"No," Courtney interrupted her. "There isn't anything else I need to understand. I don't care how dangerous it might be. If my baby has any chance at all of being born I can't destroy that."

Dr. Meadows tried again to explain to Courtney the risk that she was taking with her own life, but Courtney refused to hear it, she had lost one child and it changed her whole life, she knew she wouldn't be able to survive another such loss.

Seeing Courtney's obstinacy and the doctor's frustration Nikolas broke in. Taking Courtney's hand to get her attention he finally spoke, "Let's at least hear Dr. Meadows's opinion," he suggested. "I'd like to know what we're dealing with." Hushing Courtney when he saw her about to protest again, he gestured for Dr. Meadows to speak.

Dr. Meadows now focused her attention on Nikolas, realizing that he was far more likely than Courtney to be swayed by a reasoned argument and that he would have a better chance than she would of getting Courtney to listen. "Courtney's condition is very serious," she said. "I won't deny that there is a chance she could carry to term, but it is a very remote chance. It is far more likely that she will miscarry again, and, given the damage her body has already suffered, another miscarriage could be very dangerous for her."

Nikolas forced himself to remain calm. Courtney had already told him that there was a risk but hearing it from a doctor somehow made it much more real. "How dangerous?" he asked

"It could be fatal," Dr. Meadows warned him bluntly. With Courtney so determined to try to carry this child she didn't want to pull any punches, they both needed to understand the risks that she faced. "She's at high risk for placental abruption. If the placenta tears away from the uterine wall Courtney will start to hemorrhage. At that point both Courtney and the child will be in danger." Her gaze was sympathetic but stern, "The best option would be to end the pregnancy now, before Courtney's life is at risk."

Finally, Dr. Meadow's turned back to Courtney, "I'm sorry, Courtney, but the child is unlikely to survive either way. At least this way you won't be putting yourself in jeopardy."

"Unlikely but not impossible," Courtney answered firmly. "You said that I couldn't get pregnant. Well now I am. I've been given another chance; I won't throw that chance away on 'unlikely.' I can't."

"Courtney," Nikolas broke in, "at least consider what Dr. Meadows is saying. This is your life we're talking about here."

"No," she answered sharply laying a hand on her still flat belly, "It's not just my life; it's this child's life, too. And I'm not going to throw that away." Her eyes pleaded with Nikolas to understand but her tone was unyielding. "You said you would support my choice," she said. "Well this is my choice. I'm going to have this baby."

Nikolas held her gaze for a moment before dropping his eyes. "Alright," he murmured before turning back to Dr. Meadows. "What can we do optimize Courtney's chances?" he asked.


	4. Stressful Situations

Chapter Four: Stressful Situations

Nikolas ignored the burning fear in his chest and forced himself to smile reassuringly at Courtney as they stepped onto the elevator to leave the hospital. As the doors closed he put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her back against his chest. Feeling the tension in her shoulders he brought his hands up and began kneading the muscles in her neck and shoulders.

He leaned forward and nuzzled her neck. "Hey," he whispered into her ear, "it's going to be alright. We'll get through this."

She looked up at him and he could see the fear and doubt in her eyes. "Come on," he said, "Let's go to Kelly's; I'll buy you a milkshake."

Courtney exhaled swiftly, as if she'd been unwittingly holding her breath. Suddenly calmer, she smiled up at Nikolas. "Chocolate?" she asked hopefully.

Nikolas was laughing as the elevator doors opened letting them out into the parking garage. "Anything you want," he promised, keeping his arm around her shoulders until they arrived at the car and he had to release her in order to open her door.

Nikolas nodded at Mike as he escorted Courtney into Kelly's; something about the older man always made him feel like a teenager. Nikolas helped Courtney take off her coat and then went to claim a table as she hurried to the counter and embraced her father. He wondered idly whether learning about Courtney's pregnancy would alleviate any of Mike's disapproval or heighten it, but then sobered as it occurred to him that when Mike learned about the pregnancy Mike would also learn that he might well lose his daughter.

After talking Mike for a few minutes Courtney came back to Nikolas. When he stood up and came around the table to pull out her chair, Courtney smiled and refrained from commenting on his old-fashioned manners. They talked idly, containing their conversation to mundane matters - Nikolas's most recent business trip, Courtney's foundation. By unspoken agreement, neither mentioned the topic that was currently occupying both their minds - this afternoon they would relax and enjoy each other's company. There would be plenty of time in the next few weeks and months to discuss all of their fears.

Mike had just delivered their shakes and a plate of French fries for Courtney, when their pleasant afternoon encountered a very unpleasant interruption.

"Well, isn't this cozy?" Jax commented when he walked into Kelly's to see Courtney and Nikolas sitting together. In the months since Elizabeth had miscarried his child Jax had taken the opportunity to reevaluate his life. He knew that he wanted a child and he'd discovered that it would be more difficult for him to acquire one without a wife. Even though Courtney was unable to give him a child herself, a married man had a better chance at successfully adopting than a single man did. So, he'd decided that his best course of action would be to convince Courtney to come back to him. He was certain that if he pretended to forgive her and put a little effort into wooing her the way he had done before their marriage it wouldn't be too difficult to make her fall back into bed with him. What he hadn't counted on, however, was Nikolas Cassadine's tenacity. He'd assumed that the other man would tire of her quickly and go back to chasing after his own wife, Emily. Once she'd been dumped by Nikolas, Courtney would see the error of her ways and he'd have an even easier time winning her back. Nikolas wasn't cooperating with his plans, however.

Nikolas let out a tired sigh and rubbed at his brow with one hand. He turned toward the other man and managed an unconvincing smile. "Hello, Jax. Always a pleasure," he lied.

"Well you do seem to be enjoying my wife," Jax replied. "Courtney, please, a little discretion. We aren't even divorced yet, must I be subjected the sight of you playing the whore for the prince?"

"God, Jax!" Courtney exclaimed laying a hand on Nikolas's arm to restrain him. "Why do you always have to be like this?" She stood up and faced him. "You and I are over, why can't you just leave me alone?"

"I care about you, Courtney." Jax was trying to be charming. "I just don't want to see you get hurt. Nikolas is going to go back to Emily. You have to know that."

"You don't want to see me get hurt," Courtney was outraged. "That's rich, Jax. You're the one who hurts me. Do you even listen to yourself? You just called me a whore and in the very next breath you say you care about me. Stop it, Jax. Just stop it. I won't let you play me again. Just leave me alone."

"Courtney, I -" Jax reached out to her, but she'd already closed herself off from him. This time it was Nikolas who confronted him.

"It's time for you to go, Jax," he said quietly. Seeing that Jax wasn't inclined to leave, he grabbed the blonde and started to pull him towards the door. Looking over his shoulder at Courtney, he promised to come right back and then he pulled Jax outside.

Once they were safely outside and he knew Courtney couldn't see them, Nikolas released Jax's arm, turned, and slammed his fist into the Australian's face. Jax was too surprised by the sudden attack to brace himself and a moment later found himself on the ground looking up at Nikolas. Nikolas stood back rubbing his knuckles as Jax regained his feet.

"You don't talk to her that way," he said. "In fact, it's probably best that you don't talk to her all." He turned and walked back into the restaurant before Jax had a chance to respond.

Jax stood for a moment rubbing his bruised jaw and then walked off in the other direction. It was clear that he wasn't going to get any further with Courtney today and there was no point in aggravating her further. Next time he'd have to wait and talk to her when Cassadine wasn't around. Seeing them together made him see red and he had trouble containing his temper, if he wanted to get Courtney back he was going to have to learn to hide his anger better.

Back inside Nikolas rejoined Courtney with a concerned smile. "You ok?" he asked. "He didn't upset you, did he?"

Courtney tried to smile back, but it took some effort. "I'm ok," she said, hoping it was true. "It's just - I just wish he would just let go, you know? I hate the fact that I'm hurting him so much."

Nikolas was a little more cynical. "I wouldn't worry so much about hurting him. The idea of hurting you doesn't seem to bother him." But seeing the guilt and sadness in her eyes he reached out and cupped her chin. "I'm sorry. I do know how you feel and if you want, I'll try to be more patient with Jax."

"I'd appreciate that," Courtney said pulling away from him with a little laugh. Then she reached out and caught his hand, kissing his bruised knuckles. "Not that I don't appreciate your defending me," she said. "Because I do. It's been - it's been a long time since anyone defended me."

Nikolas caught his breath at the feel of her lips on his skin, suddenly aroused by the touch that she'd clearly intended to be soothing.

Seeing the change in his expression, Courtney flushed and released his hand, dropping her eyes after letting them dart over to where Mike watched from behind the counter. She turned her attention to the last of her milkshake as an excuse to avoid Nikolas's gaze. There was something unsettling about having even so innocent exchange with her father only a few yards away.

It took Nikolas a moment to discern the source of Courtney's discomfort, but when he followed her gaze back to where Mike was wiping down the counter he had to stifle a laugh, and was suddenly embarrassed by his thoughts. Definitely not appropriate under the circumstances. He leaned forward to tease her. "We'll just have to pick this up later," he whispered.

Courtney glared at him, turning even redder. He sat back and smirked at her, not so much enjoying her discomfort as pleased by the fact that he'd successfully managed to distract her from their encounter with Jax.

Once Courtney had finished her shake, she excused herself to the ladies' room and Nikolas approached Mike to pay their bill. "It's on the house," Mike said before Nikolas even had a chance to speak. Seeing that Nikolas was about to protest, he continued. "I was watching from the window," he said, "and seeing you deck that jerk was payment enough."

Nikolas shook his head, his expression serious. "He had no right to speak to Courtney that way," he said simply. He could see that Mike still had reservations about his relationship with Courtney, but he'd clearly won a few points by hitting Jax. So they were talking amiably when Courtney returned, which earned a pleased smile from her. The three of them continued to chat while he helped her on with her coat and they prepared to leave.

A moment later they looked up as they heard the door open and Nikolas's heart sank as he saw who entered. Bad enough that they had encountered Jax, but what kind of curse had them running into both Jax and Emily today of all days.

Emily opened the door to Kelly's with one hand, Morgan's little hand tightly gripped in the other. She was greeted by the sight of Nikolas pulling Courtney's long hair out of the collar of her coat, a coat that he'd clearly just wrapped around her shoulders. For some reason that cozy little act broke her heart far more than the sight of them kissing ever had. That spoke of more than lust between them, it finally made it very clear to her that the two were having more than affair.

Emily had come to Kelly's with Michael and Morgan so that they could see their grandfather and have some ice cream. The last people that she had wanted to see were her soon-to-be ex-husband and his new girlfriend. But she wasn't going to be driven away by the sight; instead, she lifted her chin and walked in with a determined smile. She nodded to Courtney and Nikolas without speaking and turned to Mike.

"Hey Mike," she said quietly. "We were hoping for some of your world famous ice cream sundaes."

Mike grinned at the kids and said, "Coming right up." He turned back to Courtney and kissed her cheek. "I'll talk to you soon, sweetheart," he promised and then headed back to the kitchen.

"Bye, Dad," Courtney replied and then turned towards her nephews. "Hey guys, how's it going?" she asked.

"Fine," Michael said shortly and then smiled up at Emily. "Emily, can I have chocolate ice cream instead of vanilla," he asked.

"Of course you can sweetie," she replied. "Let's just go tell Grandpa that's what you want." She was a little ashamed by that part of her that was glad Michael was being rude to Courtney, that took joy at the stricken look in Courtney's eyes, but she didn't do anything to correct him.

Courtney sighed, but turned to go; she'd had this conversation with Michael too many times already. He was determined to be angry with her and there was nothing that she could do about it. She hoped that someday he would realize how much she loved him. They were outside walking to the launch before Nikolas noticed the tears trailing down her cheeks.

He stopped her and brushed his thumb across her cheek, wiping away the tears. "Hey, it's okay," he said softly. "Michael didn't mean to . . ." he trailed off; they both knew that Michael had meant to hurt Courtney's feelings. "He's just a kid. He doesn't understand, but he'll get past this. He loves you."

"Nikolas, I'm okay," she said. "It's just these stupid hormones, right? I'm over-emotional or whatever." They both knew that it was more than the hormones, but Nikolas decided it would be best not to argue the point so instead he took her hand in his and resumed walking.

They were both quiet on the ride back to Wyndermere, each one lost in their own thoughts. Once they were settled back in front of the fireplace, Nikolas brought up the matter that had been in the back of his mind most of the afternoon.

He took Courtney's hand, looking down at it, at their intertwined fingers, instead of into her eyes as he spoke. "I'm afraid for you," he admitted. "I'm not going to ask you to change your mind," he hastened to assure her, "I know how much this means to you. But I want - I need you to know how I feel about this and why I'm saying this." He looked up at her, meeting her eyes at last. "I think we should leave Port Charles," he said simply.

He saw that she was about to protest and laid his fingers over her lips stopping her words while he justified his suggestion. "You heard Dr. Meadows this morning," he explained. "She said that the most important thing that you could do was avoid stress." He closed his eyes for a moment shaking his head, then he looked back at her, letting her see how serious he was about this. "That's just not going to happen here. Every time we turn around we're going to run into either Jax or Emily. Then there's Sonny, and Liz and Lucky. No one approves of our relationship, and most of the time I would say fk them. I've never really cared all that much what other people say about me. But right now, all I want is for you to be safe, and I think that the best way to do that would be to go away for awhile." He removed his hand from her lips, ready to hear her thoughts, but continuing to marshal his own arguments.

"When you say 'go away for awhile' you mean until after the baby's born, don't you?" Courtney asked. Nikolas nodded without speaking and waited for her to continue. "And where would we go?" she inquired. "Port Charles is my home, Nikolas. Yours too. Our families are here. Granted they're not too thrilled with us right now, but - but they're family."

"We could go to Greece," Nikolas suggested. "I told you about my family's island there. It's this beautiful little island in the Ionian Sea between Greece and Italy, where you'd be safe and secure for the rest of your pregnancy. There's a white sandy beach there tucked away in a little cove, you know, and we could just swim in the sea every day. The water's warm, it's clear, and the weather's warm. You could relax there. And our families could visit. We can fly Mike in whenever we want. Or Liz and Lucky, or even - even Sonny," he offered that last part with some reservations, but he knew how important Courtney's brother was to her and he was willing to tolerate Sonny for her sake.

Courtney smiled. "Wow. You have really thought this through, haven't you?" she asked.

"Well, I just want you to be happy and healthy," he replied. "And that island could be a paradise for us - for us and the baby.

"It's an amazing idea, Nikolas, but -" Courtney looked thoughtful, but unsure.

"But what?" Nikolas prodded.

"But would it be safe?" she answered. "I mean - is it even safe for me to travel? And anyway, Dr. Meadows has been monitoring me. She knows my history."

"Let's ask her," Nikolas suggested. "If she says that it's safe for you to travel, and we can find a good doctor for you in Greece, what do you say?"

"Paradise with you?" Courtney replied eyes shining. "I'd say it sounds like a dream come true."

A/N: I know that the "island in Greece that Nikolas mentioned in the 9/23 episode is different than the one in the Ionian Sea that he talked about taking Courtney to in the episode but for the purposes of this story I've sort of merged them.


	5. Moving On

Chapter Five: Moving On?

Nikolas sat on the edge of the bed and gazed at Courtney's still form. She was sleeping at last and he didn't want to disturb her. She'd spent the night tossing and turning, obviously still disturbed by the events of the day. And her restlessness had kept him awake, though he hadn't complained, had instead merely comforted her each time she startled awake from one bad dream or another. But she had finally dozed off just as the sun rose. A few minutes ago he had risen to draw the curtains and ensure that the encroaching daylight wouldn't wake her. He had lain back down with her for a time, but it was not in his nature to sleep during the day no matter how sleepless his night had been, so now he was up and debating what he should do.

On the one hand, he could happily sit and watch her sleep for hours. But on the other, there were business matters that he needed to take care of today and if he took care of them now, before Courtney woke up, then he would be free to spend the rest of the day with her. While the latter seemed like the wisest plan he didn't want to leave her when she might wake and wonder where he was.

Coming to a decision at last, he rose and went over to the desk in the corner of the room. Sitting down at the desk he took out a single sheet of stationary and a pen. He wrote a brief note, rereading it once to make sure that it sounded right. Nikolas folded the paper in half and then wrote Courtney's name on the back. Then he rose and returned to the bed, setting the note on the pillow that he'd recently vacated. He smiled and bent down to brush a barely there kiss on Courtney's brow and then brushed one knuckle across her jaw, keeping his touch light enough that he was sure he wouldn't wake her. "Rest, my love," he whispered. "I'll be back soon."

With a regretful sigh Nikolas headed off to the study; there was business to take care of and the European markets had opened hours ago.

Disoriented, still unused to waking up in Nikolas's bed, it took Courtney a moment to recognize her surroundings. Once she realized where she was Courtney couldn't help but be a little disappointed by her lover's absence. All of the events from the previous day came crashing down on her and she wondered if Nikolas's absence was an indication that he was having second thoughts about the baby, or about her. Just as her paranoia began to get the best of her, Courtney noticed the folded piece of stationary on Nikolas's pillow. Seeing her name in his familiar handwriting she smiled and picked up the note.

G_ood Morning,_

_Hopefully I'll be back by your side before you awaken and have a chance to read this note, but if not I didn't want you to worry that I'd deserted you_ (Courtney smiled as she read that, ruefully acknowledging that he knew her even better than she'd thought.) _There's some business that I have to wrap up this morning, but I promise you that once it's completed my day is all yours. Stay in bed and I'll return to you once I'm done, or come find me if you like, I'm probably in the study._

_Love,_

Nikolas 

Courtney stretched luxuriously debating her options and taking pleasure in the simple fact that for once she had woken up without the overwhelming need to vomit. That simple fact made up her mind, if she was going to have a nausea free morning, she wasn't going to waste it in bed. And if Nikolas still had work to do that would be find there were a few errands she needed to run as well. One in particular that she thought of with a frown – she needed to talk to Dr. Meadows again.

A few minutes later Courtney paused outside the door of Nikolas's study. She peered inside, enjoying the rare opportunity of observing him unnoticed. He was on the phone, but she couldn't understand his words, indeed only vaguely recognized the language as Greek. She heard him laugh however and concluded that business must be going well.

Nikolas sighed as he set the phone in its cradle for the last time. He had handled all of the pressing business and could now enjoy the day with a clear conscience. Stretching as he rose from his chair, he contemplated detouring through the kitchens on his way back to Courtney. It took him only a moment to think better of that plan, however; breakfast in bed might be more romantic when the recipient wasn't prone to morning nausea. Perhaps he'd better see how Courtney was faring this morning before he mentioned food to her. He started towards the door, but stopped abruptly as he saw her standing just beyond it.

"Eavesdropping?" he asked with a teasing smile.

"I was trying," she returned with a pretended complaint, "but, unfortunately, I don't speak Greek so I didn't learn much."

"You don't speak Greek?" he exclaimed in horror. "Well, I'll just have to teach you." He pulled her into the room and into his arms so that he could give her a proper good morning kiss.

"That was Demetrius," Nikolas explained after a moment, "he manages the estate in Greece. I asked him to have it ready in case we decided to visit." He saw the protest in her eyes and quickly spoke again. "Just in case. I know that we won't decide anything until we've spoken to Dr. Meadows."

"I called her before I came looking for you," Courtney admitted. "She can fit us in after lunch.

Nikolas glanced at his watch, it was already past eleven. "Well then," he said. "How about we go find lunch?"

The two headed to the Wyndermere kitchen where lunch turned out to be a fried peanut butter and banana sandwich for Courtney, who declared that to be one of her favorite comfort foods, and grilled cheese for Nikolas, who found the mere sight of the Courtney's concoction revolting.

"Please tell me this a pregnancy thing?" he said as he watched her eat.

"Nope," Courtney declared once she'd finished chewing. "My dad used to make these for me when I was a little girl. It's really good; here, taste it," she offered.

Nikolas regarded the sandwich with suspicion. "I'd really rather not," he said.

"Oh come on, you'd like it if you'd just give it a chance," she teased him.

"My uncle used to say the same thing about liver, but that never turned out to be true," Nikolas replied. "I think I'll pass on this one too."

"Suit yourself," Courtney said before biting into the sandwich with apparent relish.

They finished their meals in relative harmony and Courtney insisted on straightening the kitchen before they set off for the mainland and the hospital.

The nearer they got to the hospital the more difficult it became for Courtney to conceal her nervousness. Nikolas didn't comment, merely squeezed her hand and flashed her a reassuring smile.

Dr. Meadows greeted them warmly, hoping that Courtney had called because she'd reconsidered the issue of termination. Courtney spoke up before Dr. Meadows had the opportunity to broach the subject.

"I'm sorry to take up so much of your time," Courtney began offering an apologetic smile. "I know that you have alot of other patients and am very grateful that you were able to see me again so soon."

Dr. Meadows merely nodded and waited for the younger woman to continue.

"I -" Courtney glanced over at Nikolas, "We just had a few more questions for you," she said meeting the doctor's steady gaze.

"I'm here to answer any questions you might have, Courtney," Dr. Meadows assured her. "I know that this must be a very difficult and confusing time."

"You have no idea," Nikolas muttered as his thoughts drifted to their tangled personal lives. But he didn't elaborate when the doctor cast him a curious look.

"I wanted – we were wondering if it would be safe for me to travel?" Courtney asked quietly.

"To travel?" Dr. Meadows repeated in surprise. She had not been expecting that question. "Now is hardly the time for a vacation, Courtney. Your condition is very delicate. It's important that you stay where you have medical help readily available."

"We're aware of the Courtney's condition, doctor," Nikolas broke in harshly. Neither of them were likely to forget the risks she was taking. "Our main concern here is Courtney's health, that's why we came to you before we made any decisions. We're not talking about jetting out to the Caribbean for a long weekend here." Courtney's hand squeezing his thigh reminded him to control his temper. He took a deep breath before beginning again, "My apologies doctor, I'm sure you can understand that I'm a little on edge these days." He didn't wait for her to accept or even acknowledge his apology before he continued. "You said yesterday that the most important thing Courtney could do would be to avoid stress." He looked over at her noticing the tension in the set of her shoulders. "Circumstances being what they are, that's not possible here in Port Charles."

"Those circumstances being?" Dr. Meadows prompted.

It was Courtney who spoke up this time. "Among other things, my ex-husband and Nikolas's ex-wife," she explained with a rueful smile. "The situation was handled poorly on all sides, and it's true that Nikolas and I bear alot of the blame." She met the doctor's sympathetic eyes. "Normally, I wouldn't run away from this kind of problem, but right now there's the baby to consider. I just can't – I can't take it much longer. It seems like every time I turn around Jax is there, constantly sniping at me. One minute he's calling me obscene names and accusing me of things and the next he's claiming to care about me and saying he wants me back. It's – it's too much."

She took a deep breath and didn't look at Nikolas as she continued, "And if it's not Jax, it's Emily. She's sending me wounded looks and being oh-so polite and 'forgiving' me. All the time forgiving me and then going to cry to _my_ brother about how I seduced her husband away from her. And my brother – don't even get me started on my brother."

Courtney broke off her tirade, shaking in anger and taking a deep breath as she tried to hold back a sudden flood of tears. "And it's only going to get worse once everyone finds out about the baby." Courtney was fighting off semi-hysterical laughter when she turned back to Dr. Meadows. "I can't avoid stress here. There's just too much. If it's possible I think it would be best if I left Port Charles until after the baby is born."

Dr. Meadows gave Courtney another moment to calm down. She watched Nikolas go over to sit on the arm of Courtney's chair. He was speaking softly to her and rubbing her back soothingly. After a moment he returned to his chair and both turned to look at her.

"I can see your point. Normally, I wouldn't recommend that a woman in your situation contemplate this drastic a change, but it sounds like your circumstances do indeed demand it." When they both nodded their confirmation she continued. "For the moment it should be safe enough for you to travel, as long as you take it easy."

They spent another half hour at the doctor's office discussing the best way to manage the move and getting a couple of references for nurses that might be willing to travel with them.

"Are you sure you're comfortable with this?" Nikolas asked as they walked away from the hospital. "Leaving Port Charles I mean. I know it won't be easy for you to leave your family.

"I'm sure," Courtney said. "I spent a lot of time thinking about this last night. You know when I was keeping you awake with all my tossing and turning," she smiled up at him wryly before continuing. "The most important thing is making sure that the baby is safe."

"Don't forget about yourself," Nikolas interrupted. "The most important thing is making sure that _you_ and the baby are safe."

Courtney chose to change the subject rather than argue the point with him. "If we're not going to be in town for much longer there are a few things that I need to take care of before we go," she said.

"Such as?" Nikolas asked with a smile.

She leaned into him and kissed him lingeringly before turning to walk away from the launch. "I need to see my lawyer. I'd like to be divorced before we skip town," she said laughing.

"Fair enough," Nikolas conceded, licking his lips and watching her walk away for a moment before jogging to catch up with her.

"Alright, I'll meet you later," he said. "I've got a few errands to run as well." He planted a quick kiss of his own on her lips before starting off in the other direction.


	6. The Attorneys

Chapter Six: The Attorneys

Nikolas sighed, not looking forward to the confrontation that was bound to ensue once he told his aunt why he had come to her door. Alexis was family and his attorney, but she loved Emily and she'd made it clear that she didn't support his relationship with Courtney. He wondered idly whether he should tell her about the child, but decided against it. He still wasn't ready to think too deeply about the child himself; he certainly wasn't ready to discuss it with Alexis.

"Now or never," he muttered pressing the doorbell.

"Nikolas," Ric greeted him with a smile stepping aside to let him enter. "Come in, Alexis is with the girls in the living room." Ric pointed Nikolas back in that direction before returning to their home office and the case he was briefing.

Nikolas didn't quite manage to return Alexis's welcoming smile as he stepped into the living room. He gave Kristina his usual hug and kiss on the cheek and gazed down at Molly with vaguely haunted eyes.

"What brings you by today?" Alexis asked, always pleased to see her nephew, but surprised by the visit on a Tuesday afternoon.

"I need you to do something for me," he said quietly waiting until Kristina was distracted by a puzzle on the floor. When Alexis promised him that he could always count on her help, he continued. "I know that you've been deliberately delaying the work on my divorce, Alexis. And I understand why, I really do, but I need it done as quickly as possible."

Alexis looked at her nephew in shock that was not the request she'd been expecting. "Nikolas," she began in a conciliatory tone, "what's the rush? You love Emily and she loves you. I know that you think this thing with Courtney is real, but -"

"Alexis," Nikolas cut her off icily. "My marriage to Emily is over. If you can't do this for me, I will find another attorney who can. I'm leaving town at the end of the week and I'd like to have signed the papers before I go."

"Leaving town?" Alexis cast a quick eye in Kristina's direction, glad that the child hadn't been disturbed by the exclamation that was rather louder than she'd intended. "Nikolas," she glared at him. "This had better just be a business trip."

He shook his head, quirking his lips in an attempt to smile. "I'm afraid not," he admitted. "I don't know how long I'll be gone, several months at least." He shook his head as he saw his aunt gear up for an interrogation. "I really don't want to talk about it ,Alexis."

"Well, that's just too bad," she snapped. "Because I'm not just your lawyer, I'm family. Now where do you plan on going, and why?"

Nikolas inclined his head slightly, granting a minor concession to the ties of family. "I'm not going to drop off the face of the earth," he promised. "I'll be in Greece, at the Cassadine island. You'll know how to reach me." He pointedly didn't answer her second question, the why wasn't something he felt like he could discuss with her yet; the thought of what Courtney would be risking still left his nerves raw whenever he considered the subject.

Alexis shook her head, "Not good enough," she announced. "I want to know why."

"I said I don't wish to discuss it!" Nikolas's tone and demeanor were eerily reminiscent his father and grandfather before him, reminding Alexis that he was indeed the Cassadine Prince. She responded as she'd been conditioned to since childhood, with compliance.

"I'm sorry, Nikolas," she managed backing off in confusion.

Nikolas was instantly hit with guilt, that wasn't a card he liked to play, particularly not with Alexis – he knew how fragile his aunt's psyche was when it came to the family. "No, Alexis," he said, reaching out to squeeze her hand. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped at you. It's just – I just can't talk about it yet."

Alexis nodded, accepting his apology and taking a moment to collect herself.

Before she could return to the subject at hand they were both surprised by the ringing of the doorbell. "Were you expecting someone?" Nikolas asked. "I'm sorry if I've come at a bad time, I should have called."

He rose to go but Alexis shook her head, stopping him. "No, I wasn't expecting anyone. Stay, Ric will get it."

And a moment later, Ric did get it and both Alexis and Nikolas were surprised to hear him greet Courtney.

Suddenly worried about why Courtney would have come looking for him, Nikolas didn't even spare Alexis a glance as he walked into the hall to see if she was okay.

"Courtney?" he interrupted Ric's greeting, studying her intently to see if anything was wrong. "Is everything okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine," she assured him. "Really," she answered his concerned look with a placating smile.

"Were you looking for me?" Nikolas asked.

"No," she said. "Actually I came to talk to Ric."

Everyone was startled by that announcement. "Ric?" Nikolas blinked. "I thought you were going to see Justus."

Courtney let out an indignant huff. "I did," she said. "It seems Jax has found another way to delay the divorce." She was clearly exasperated with his intransigence. "He's done business with Justus in the past, so evidently there would be a conflict of interest if Justus represents me now. Jax refuses to waive his interest, so Justus can't be my attorney."

"So you came to Ric?" this from Alexis who was standing in the living room doorway, having followed Nikolas out of the room.

"There are very few lawyers in town with whom Jax hasn't done business of some sort or another. Ric is pretty much the only one I could think of."

"Wow, last possible choice, there's a vote of confidence," Ric muttered.

"Ric's not going to represent you against Jax," Alexis announced to Courtney.

Ric turned to look at his wife in surprise. He hadn't really been considering it, but he was aggravated by her automatic dismissal, "I'm not?" he asked pointedly.

"No, you're not," she barreled on oblivious to his growing irritation. "Jax is one of my best friends," she said.

"A very good reason for _you_ not to represent Courtney," Ric answered, "but I don't see what it has to do with me."

"Ric," she protested, "Jax doesn't want a divorce."

"Alexis," Nikolas put a calming hand on her shoulder, not really interested in getting caught up in someone else's marital discord - he had plenty of his own after all - but needing to defend Courtney. "Jax can't force Courtney to stay married to him against her will," he said.

"You _would_ say that," Alexis answered coldly remembering that Nikolas was the reason Courtney wanted to divorce Jax.

"Alexis," Ric's voice interrupted their spat. "How about you let me decide for myself which clients I take?" Without waiting for a response he turned back to Courtney. "You know most of my experience is in criminal law. Wouldn't you rather find a lawyer who specializes in divorce, Courtney?" he asked calmly.

Courtney shook her head slowly meeting Ric's steady gaze. "I want someone I know, someone I can trust. And there are," her own gaze briefly wavered in Nikolas's direction, "certain other considerations."

"Someone you can trust," Ric repeated. "And you picked me? Given our history I have to say that's a surprise."

"You're sort-of family," Courtney smiled bitterly as she considered her twisted family dynamic. "And besides, I figured I'd play on your guilt," she admitted with a slight smile. "I can start now if you need to be convinced to represent me. You do owe me, after all," she reminded him.

"What exactly do I owe you for?" he inquired.

"Because I didn't tell the police when you kidnapped me and threw me down that mine shaft," she suggested. "And because I didn't let Jason kill you when you tried to blackmail me into marrying you," she continued.

"Alright," he held up one hand to stop her, suddenly uncomfortable with the turn the conversation had taken. He glanced nervously over at Alexis, she still didn't know all of his misdeeds. "I owe you," he conceded. "And I'll represent you if you're sure that's what you want."

When Courtney confirmed that that was what she really wanted he excused them and led her to his office. Courtney sent a smile Nikolas's way before following him, leaving Nikolas and Alexis still standing in the foyer.

"Well that was . . . " Alexis broke off searching for a word to describe the exchange between Courtney and Ric.

"Disturbing, maybe bizarre," Nikolas filled in as they both gazed at the closed office door.

"So," Nikolas turned back to his aunt with a forced smile. "While Ric handles Courtney's divorce, how about you and I get back to mine?" He retreated back into the living room, knowing that Alexis would follow once the shock wore off.

After a moment Alexis did follow him and she seemed to have remembered the fact that she was irritated with him. "Will Courtney be accompanying you to Greece?" she asked coldly.

Nikolas sighed, this was not the part of the conversation he'd wanted to return to. "Yes," he admitted after a momentary pause, "Courtney will be coming with me to Greece."

"So you want me to speed up your divorce so you can go on some kind of romantic vacation with that - "

Alexis's tirade was cut short by Nikolas's hand on her shoulder and the sight of his blazing eyes. "Watch what you say about her, Alexis," he warned her sharply. "You may be family, but there are some things that I'm not going to forgive."

Nikolas held her gaze for a moment and then looked away, catching sight of Kristina's fearful face. He forced himself to take a calming breath and reign in his temper enough that he could smile at his young cousin. "It's okay sweetheart," he reassured her. "Mommy and I were just having a little disagreement, it's nothing for you to get upset over."

Alexis swallowed hard, surprised at herself for picking a fight with Nikolas in front of the children. Sitting down on the couch for a moment she picked up Kristina, groaning slightly at the little girl's increased weight. "You're getting so big," she said smiling at her daughter. "I'm not going to be able to pick you up this way much longer." She wrapped her arms around her daughter and cuddled her in her lap. "Your cousin and I fight sometimes," she said. "But you don't need to worry about it. It's just silly grown up stuff." When Kristina nodded and smiled Alexis set her back down and suggested that she run upstairs and play in her room.

Alexis waited until the little girl was safely upstairs before turning back to Nikolas.

"I'm sorry," she apologized sincerely. "I shouldn't have said anything about Courtney. It's pretty clear that there is more going on between the two of you than I had realized.

Nikolas accepted her apology, but refused to discuss Courtney or their plans any further. "Will you handle to divorce or not?" he asked simply.

Alexis searched his face for a moment, if there was the slightest sign of doubt in his eyes she would refuse to do it, but there was none. He didn't look resigned; he looked determined. "Alright," she conceded. "I've actually already got the papers drawn up, they just need to be signed and filed."

"I'll sign them now," Nikolas didn't hesitate. "Do I need to be here when they're filed?"

"No," Alexis answered. "Once you've signed them, I can handle just about anything else. I doubt Emily will contest the divorce, so once she's signed them as well I can file them and it will be done." She left him sitting in the living room while she went to get the papers, which were in the home office she shared with Ric.

Alexis started to knock on the door, but then paused for a moment. She could hear Courtney's voice on the other side of the door and she took a moment to listen.

"Once we get to Greece," Courtney was saying. "I won't be able to come back. Will that be a problem?"

She stepped back from the doorway in shock. 'Why wouldn't Courtney be able to return to the US?' she wondered.

"Alexis," she heard Nikolas come up behind her, "what's going on?" Then he saw her expression and where she was standing. "You were eavesdropping, weren't you?" he accused.

Alexis nodded her admission, but then looked at Nikolas in confusion. "Why won't Courtney be able to come back once you get to Greece?" she asked.

"Came in at the good part, didn't you?" his tone was icy with disapproval as he forcibly removed her from the area.

Once they were well away from the door Alexis met Nikolas's angry gaze. "What's going on, Nikolas?" she asked. "You say you're going to Greece for an indeterminate period of time. You tell me Courtney's going with you. And now I hear that Courtney won't be able to come back – not 'won't want to,' but 'won't be able to.' What's going on? Is she in some sort of trouble?"

Nikolas sighed in defeat. There was no way out of telling her now, if he refused she would just get it out of Ric one way or another. "Courtney's at the beginning of what looks to be a _very_ difficult pregnancy," he said. "Her doctor advises against travel in her condition. Once we get settled somewhere we'll be stuck for the duration."

"Then why go at all?" Alexis asked. "Why not stay here, where the two of you will have friends and family for support?"

Nikolas couldn't stop himself from laughing at that question. "Support from our 'friends and family,'" he sputtered. "Have you met our 'friends and family,' Alexis? They're the reason we're leaving. Courtney can't take the stress of being around our loving 'friends and family.'" Nikolas's pointed glare alerted Alexis to the fact that she was certainly included in that estimation of unsupportive friends and family.

Any further discussion was cut off by voices from the hallway, evidently Courtney and Ric had concluded their business. "If it's alright with you I'll come by tomorrow with the papers," Ric was saying. "If everything meets with your approval you can sign them right away and then we'll deal with Jax."

"Thank you, Ric," Courtney agreed as the two of them stepped into the room. "I really appreciate your help." She smiled at Nikolas, "Ready to go?" she asked.

Nikolas forced himself to smile back, "Five more minutes," he requested. "I believe that Alexis has some papers for me to sign." When his gaze swept back over to Alexis she recognized the furious command in his eyes – she wasn't to say anything to Courtney.

She cleared her throat nervously. "Let me just go get those," she said departing the room quickly.

Alexis returned a moment later with the papers and waited while Nikolas read over them and signed them. Every few minutes she found her gaze lingering on Courtney, who was leaning over Molly's playpen cooing nonsense words to the baby and forced herself to tear her eyes away. She knew that Courtney must be imagining the baby she would be holding in a few months time, and for the first time in a long time she felt a sense of kinship with the younger woman – she could well remember the hopes and fears that she'd experienced with each of her pregnancies.

She stood shoulder to shoulder with Ric as they watched the couple depart. "It's hard to believe that they're going to be parents," Alexis said after they had waved goodbye and closed the door.

Ric cast her a sharp look. "Is that all Nikolas told you?" he asked quietly.

"He said that she was pregnant," Alexis answered in confusion, what could she have misunderstood?

"She is," he explained, "but it doesn't look good. Her doctor wanted her to terminate the pregnancy, but Courtney refused." He sighed, "She wants me to draw up her will as well as her divorce papers."

Suddenly Alexis realized the true reason behind Nikolas's refusal to discuss the move and his fury when she had maligned Courtney. She felt an unfamiliar burning behind her eyes and fought the urge to weep for the young woman who might never hold her baby in her arms.


	7. Saying Goodbye Part 1

A/N: Okay, most of you will probably think that Michael is acting a little younger than his age on the show, but if the GH writers can SORAS characters at will, I don't see any reason why I shouldn't do the same.

Chapter Seven: Saying Goodbye - Part 1

"What's the emergency?" Lucky grinned mockingly at his brother as he put his arm around Elizabeth on the back of the couch and pulled her closer to him. Nikolas had called earlier to ensure that both of them would be home. He had said that he had something important he needed to talk about with them.

Nikolas glanced nervously from one to the other. His brother and his brother's fiancé, they were his best friends in the world but he still didn't know how to say this to them. He sighed heavily; maybe it would be best just to get it out quickly. "I came to say goodbye. I'm leaving Port Charles," he said, "tomorrow."

Lucky studied him for a moment, Nikolas generally mentioned it if he was leaving town on a business trip but this felt a lot more serious than that. "How long are you going to be gone?" he asked.

Nikolas didn't quite meet his eyes. "I don't know," he admitted, "awhile."

Elizabeth and Lucky stared at him in shock and he broke off searching for the words to say what had to come next.

"Is this because of Courtney?" Elizabeth asked. "Because of what happened in the park? Is there something -" she stumbled slightly looking for a delicate phrase, "something the wrong with her?"

Nikolas rubbed at his forehead with one hand as let out the breath he had been holding. "Something wrong with her, you might say that. It's, God, it's complicated," he met Lucky's concerned eyes and gave up trying to hide his fear. "It's really complicated," he said.

"Hi," Courtney stood nervously in the doorway and looked at her brother, trying to ignore the brunette standing with him.

"Where's Nikolas?" Emily asked unable to conceal a tinge of bitterness, she almost never saw either Nikolas or Courtney outside of the other's company these days. And yesterday she'd been officially served with the final copy of her divorce papers – the final proof that Nikolas was done with her and ready to move on, with Courtney apparently.

"He's with Elizabeth and Lucky," Courtney replied calmly. "He needed to talk to his brother and he understood that I needed to talk to mine." Courtney returned her focus to Sonny, "Do you have a minute? I really need to talk to you." She glanced at Emily again, "Alone."

"Emily can hear whatever you have to say," Sonny answered. He didn't bother to hide his disappointment in the way his sister had treated the other woman. He was ashamed of her for sleeping with Emily's husband and was determined to keep Emily from being further slighted.

"Sonny, please," Courtney's eyes begged him for understanding. "This isn't easy for me. Something's happened and I really need to talk to you."

"Alright," Sonny conceded after meeting her gaze for a moment, this was his sister after all. The least he owed her was a few minutes of his time, no matter what she may have done. He turned to Emily, "Why don't you go check on the kids while Courtney and I talk. It's nearly Michael's bed time anyway."

"What is it Courtney?" Sonny asked once Emily was out of the room. He may be willing to give her his time but he didn't have much patience to spare. "Are you in some kind of trouble?"

"No!" she glared at him. "God, Sonny. You think the only reason I would come to you was if I was in trouble, to beg for help?" She shook her head - maybe trying to talk to Sonny was a mistake.

"Well then why did you come? You know how I feel about your involvement with Cassadine. If you came to try to change my mind you're wasting your time." He met her glare with one of his own.

"I came to say goodbye, Sonny. I'm leaving Port Charles and I might not be coming back. I didn't want to leave without making peace with you, ok?" A tear rolled down Courtney's cheek. He might be self righteous and hypocritical but he was her brother and she couldn't bear the thought of dying - don't think that way, she reminded herself, but she couldn't help it - she might die and she couldn't risk that without making peace with her brother.

"What do you mean?" he demanded. "Where are you going and why wouldn't you come back?"

"I'm - I'm pregnant, Sonny. I didn't mean for it to happen. You know I didn't even think that it could, but since I didn't think it was possible I didn't really think about taking precautions," she broke off knowing Sonny was not ready for a discussion that involved the details of his little sister's sex life. "In any case," she continued, "now I am pregnant and - and it's not exactly the miracle that I'd hoped for."

Courtney couldn't help it, as she was explaining the situation to Sonny the tears that she'd been hiding from Nikolas slipped out. She knew that Nikolas was afraid for her and that fed her determination to hide her own fears from him as much as possible. She put on a brave face, but now talking to the brother that she might never see again she couldn't help but pour out her fears to him. For once in their relationship Sonny did the right thing – there was a moment's awkwardness when he first put his arms around her, but after a moment she just collapsed against his shoulder and cried. He held her, comforted her and told her that it would be okay.

"I don't want to die, Sonny," she whispered against his shoulder. "But I can't – I just – I can't kill my baby."

"You're not going to die," Sonny's finger's bit into Courtney's shoulders as he held her away from him while he looked into her eyes. "You're strong, you'll fight for yourself and for your baby, and you'll get through this." He had to believe that. Sonny knew that he hadn't been the best brother, but he did love Courtney and the thought of her dying . . . he couldn't even comprehend it. She had come into his life so late, but now he couldn't think of life without her. No matter how many times he'd pushed her away, fought with her, disowned her, she had always been there ready to forgive him without being asked when he wanted her back again. Always giving without even waiting to be asked. Now it was time for her to take care of herself. "You do what you gotta do," he said. "If leaving Port Charles is going to help you get through this, then I guess – I guess I'll just wish you the best."

He smiled down into his little sister's tear streaked face, "I'm glad you came to say goodbye. I know I haven't been – I haven't been the best brother lately," he admitted, "but I do love you." He pulled her back into his arms for another hug before pulling away at last donning a more business-like demeanor.

"Alright," he said, "what can I do?"

Courtney shook her head wiping the tears from her eyes with a smile, that was Sonny, when the conversation got too emotional or uncomfortable he'd change the subject at will. "There's really nothing left to do," she replied. "Nikolas has taken care of everything; we're leaving in the morning." She hesitated, there was one thing that she wanted to request from him, "But if you could tell the boys that I said goodbye and give them my love, I'd appreciate it." As much as Courtney loved her nephews and wanted to say goodbye to them herself, her emotions were just too raw right now to deal with another confrontation with Michael.

"Courtney," Sonny protested, "I know I said earlier that it was Michael's bedtime, but I'm sure he's still up. I'll go get him so you can say goodbye to him yourself."

"Don't do that," Courtney pleaded quietly. "I can't – it's best - I think that it would be best if you just say my goodbyes for me," she said it simply and didn't offer any explanation. She wasn't going to whine to Sonny about the problems she'd been having with her nephew.

"Courtney, Michael loves you. Now, I know you won't want to tell him why you're leaving or that – or anything, but at least say goodbye," Sonny objected.

"It's not that I don't want to say goodbye to Michael," Courtney finally had no choice but to explain. "It's just that he's a little angry with me right now, and I – I don't fight with him tonight."

"Angry – what? Why would Michael be angry with you?" Sonny's confusion was apparent.

Courtney shut her eyes for a moment, shaking her head at her brother's obliviousness, whether he knew it or not his own animosity towards Courtney had fed the boy's anger. "Well," she said pointedly, "Michael's angry at me for 'being mean to Emily.' Somehow or another he's gotten the idea that I destroyed her life."

At that pronouncement Sonny groaned realizing the extent of his folly in allowing Emily to assume full responsibility for his kids when she was still so bitter. Willfully or not, she was passing on her resentment the boys. "God, Courtney, I'm sorry. I never meant for him to get involved in this," Sonny apologized.

"He's a smart kid, Sonny. You didn't have to say anything to him. He picked up on the fact that you were mad at me and that Emily was upset and she didn't like me and he decided that he should be mad too." Courtney could see that Sonny was more shaken by the announcement than she would have expected. "It's okay, Sonny. I don't blame Michael for being upset or confused. The situation is complicated enough for the adults and he's just a little boy. But I just – I can't take an argument with him right now, so if you'll tell him I said goodbye we'll leave it at that."

"No," Sonny said determinedly. "I'm going to get this straightened out. Give me a minute to talk to him and then I'll bring him down to say goodbye." He started out of the room without giving her another chance to protest.

Sonny knew from personal experience how badly guilt could haunt you. If – God forbid – if Courtney died he was not going to have Michael's last memory of the aunt he loved be of words spoken in anger. His son had already had enough trauma in his life.

"Michael."

The boy looked up at the sound of his father's voice from the doorway. "Dad, come in Emily was just reading me a story before bed. You could come in and read, too," he called excitedly, hoping his father's appearance would delay bedtime a little more.

"I'm afraid stories are going to have to wait, buddy," Sonny answered softly coming in to sit on the edge of Michael's bed and rub the boy's back. "Listen; your Aunt Courtney's here and I want you to come downstairs with me for a minute and talk to her."

Michael stiffened and pulled away. "Why should I talk to her?" he asked petulantly.

"Because she's your aunt, my sister, and she loves you and you love her," Sonny answered striving for patience.

"But she made Emily cry," Michael answered looking up at Emily in adoration. "I don't want to see her if she's gonna be mean to Emily."

Sonny cast a reproving glance in Emily's direction. How had he not realized things had gotten this bad? He was a little disappointed in Emily for letting it come to this. Disliking Courtney herself was one thing and perfectly understandable, but Michael and Morgan were Courtney's nephews and interfering with their relationship with her was selfish and spiteful. He looked down at Michael and spoke very seriously, "There's a lot that you're too young to understand about the things that happened between Emily and your aunt Courtney and not all of it was Courtney's fault. What you need to remember is that Courtney is family and she loves you very much and I know that you love her, too."

Sonny saw the stubbornness and doubt in his son's eyes and continued, "When you get mad at her, no matter why you're mad, you need to remember all of the wonderful things that Courtney's done for you. Remember how she took care of you when Mommy was in the hospital after Morgan was born? When Mommy and I were fighting, you told the judge that you wanted to live with Courtney and Jason, do you remember that?" Seeing Michael nod uncertainly he concluded, "I know that you want to protect Emily and that's really sweet of you, but you shouldn't have to pick sides in this one. It's ok to love both Emily and Courtney."

He gave his son a hug and then said, "Now hop up and come down stairs with me; Aunt Courtney's waiting." He looked over at Emily and said, "I'll send him back up in a few minutes. Do you mind waiting up here?" but left before Emily even had an opportunity to offer he agreement.

Meanwhile,

"Nikolas," Liz said softly, sitting next to him on the couch and rubbing a soothing hand across his shoulders. "I don't even know what to say. I'm so sorry."

Nikolas looked up at them, his red-rimmed eyes the only physical indicators of the tears that he was holding back through sheer force of will. "How do I do it?" he asked. "I promised her that I would support her no matter what, but how do I sit by her side and wait knowing that she may well be killing herself?"

Lucky didn't have an answer for him. He tried to imagine himself in his brother's position and knew that he wouldn't be handling the situation any better than Nikolas was.

"You focus on the hope," Liz said. "Try not to think about all of the things that could go wrong."

"Did Courtney come over just to complain about Michael being rude to her?" Emily demanded later that evening. "I told her that I'd talk to him about it, she didn't have to come to you."

"Courtney didn't even bring up Michael. She came to say good bye to me, she's leaving town," Sonny said. He turned to Emily and continued, "Anything you want to tell me about Michael? Where he might have gotten the idea that caring about Courtney meant he was being disloyal to you?"

"Sonny!" Emily protested. "I never said anything about Courtney to Michael. I wouldn't do that."

"Maybe that's the problem," Sonny said. He shook his head at the hurt look in his eyes, "Don't get me wrong, Emily. I appreciate all the help you've given me with the kids. You've been great. But I don't think that you really understand how much they pick up on. They can sense your feelings, your resentment of Courtney, and I don't want that touching my kids."

When Emily shook her head and tried to deny that she was influencing the kids to dislike Courtney, Sonny held up a hand to stop her. "Doesn't matter now anyway," he said. "It's not going to be an issue anymore. Courtney's leaving Port Charles."

"Leaving?" Emily gasped. "Did something happen with Nikolas? Did they break up?"

Sonny glared at her, his sister might die and her main concern was whether or not she might have another chance with her ex! He took a deep breath, reminding himself that she wasn't being deliberately insensitive, that she didn't know about Courtney's condition, and that it was supposed to stay that way at least for now. "No," he said simply, trying to keep his voice calm. "She and Nikolas are going together. He's taking her to Greece."

Emily tried to stifle the hurt at that announcement; she and Nikolas had talked about traveling to Greece together. He had promised to show her where he grew up. And now he was taking Courtney. "Why?" she whispered. "Why now? Why is he taking her away with him?"

Sonny did his best to look sympathetic, though at this point all of his sympathy was focused on his little sister and the ordeal she was about to go through. "That's between them," Sonny lied, knowing that Emily would learn the truth soon enough, but it wasn't his place to tell her, and Courtney had asked him to keep it to himself until she was out of Port Charles.

"Good night, Emily," he said as he rose and left the room.

Lucky caught his brother in a one-armed hug as Nikolas rose to go. "Just remember, it doesn't matter where you are, we're your family. We're here for you."

Nikolas nodded without speaking and turned to Elizabeth. She too hugged him. "It'll be okay," she tried to assure him. "Courtney's strong and she has a lot to live for."

Nikolas pulled away from Elizabeth, trying to smile. "I know," he said. "I'm trying to keep that in mind."

"Hey, man," Lucky said. "Is there anything we can do before you go?"

"Actually," Nikolas hesitated, "I – if it's not too weird, there is a favor you could do for me."

"Sure, anything," Lucky assured him.

Nikolas handed his brother a letter. "Give this to Emily after I'm gone," he requested. "I – it's too awkward right now, I – I just can't."

Lucky hesitated, unsure if he was ready to get caught between his brother and one of his best friends. Elizabeth took the letter though, nodding sadly. "Of course," she agreed. "You're going through a lot right now."

She gave Nikolas another brief hug and then let him go. "Don't forget that there are phones in Greece," she said. "The fact that you're thousands of miles away is no excuse for not keeping in touch."


	8. Saying Goodbye Part 2

A/n – I'm sorry for the long delay. I had a lot of trouble getting started on this chapter, and I still think that Mike's a little out of character, but I decided to go ahead and post anyway so that I can keep going and hopefully finish this story before too much longer.

**_Chapter Eight: Saying Goodbye - Part 2_**

"Sorry, we're closed for the night," Mike called out his automatic response to the ringing bell without looking up from where he was loading the dishwasher at Kelly's.

"I actually came to see you, if you have a minute," Courtney said.

"Hey sweetheart," Mike smiled wiping his hands on a dishcloth before going over to give his daughter a hug. "I always have time for you, you know that," he answered.

"Hi Daddy," Courtney breathed out the greeting and fought off tears as she was enveloped in her father's arms.

"What can I get for you, princess?" he asked as he pulled away and urged her into a chair. "Coffee's still hot and there's some pie left over, can I -"

He trailed off when Courtney shook her head in response to his offers. "I'm not hungry," she whispered sitting down in the proffered chair and looking up at him as she twisted her hands together nervously.

Mike grabbed her nervous hands and held them in his chafing them gently once his touch revealed how cold she was. He looked at his daughter, his little girl, and for a moment he was overwhelmed by his love for her. Sometimes this simple fact that she was in his presence seemed like a miracle – he knew that it was a boon he didn't deserve and he was determined to never forget that again. He had abandoned Courtney when she was a child and somehow she had forgiven him – something Michael still hadn't managed. In all their fights Sonny still pulled out that tired old complaint, on for which Mike had no retort – he had deserted his child, his children, and there was no excuse for that. Courtney, though, had found a way to get passed it. She welcomed him into her life and he was determined that he would never let her down again.

"Hey, princess, what's wrong?" When Courtney hesitated unable to quite meet his eyes Mike released let go of her hands and brought one of his own up to her face. He gently tilted her chin until she was looking into his face. "You can tell me," he promised. "You can say anything to me, you know that right?"

"Even 'good-bye?'" Courtney whispered unable to stop the tears that filled her eyes.

Mike slid his chair closer to Courtney's so that he could pull her into his arms. She buried her face against his chest and let her tears soak the soft flannel of his shirt. "Well," he managed after a moment, "that's not something I ever want to hear, but if you need to go away for awhile I can certainly understand that things have been a little tense around here lately." Something, perhaps Courtney's tears, warned Mike that she wasn't talking about a vacation, but he didn't want to jump to conclusions.

"It won't just be for a little while," Courtney's spoke softly, her voice muffled by his shirt. "I – I may not be coming back."

Mike could feel Courtney trembling as she told him that she might be leaving for good. "No," he denied it quickly. "Don't say that. I know that things are rough right now, but Port Charles is your home. You and I – we finally have a relationship, and . . . and I know that your brother's being a – a jerk right now, but he does love you, Courtney. And Michael and Morgan need you – you're their aunt, you're family. Don't give up on your life here," he pleaded with her to reconsider. Mike couldn't imagine his beautiful little girl giving up on them and moving away – how could he not have realized that things had gotten so bad, and how could he fix it?

"I know," Courtney said. "And I'm not running away. I'm not," she repeated the denial even though she knew it wasn't precisely true – she was running, but not because she was giving up on her family, rather it was because she was trying to hold on. "I have to go. I need to do this, and I will come back if I can."

"I got my miracle," Courtney told him. "I did, and I'm going to do whatever I have to to hold on to it, but I can't do that here." She stared into her father's eyes willing him to understand even though she knew she wasn't explaining it well. "Nikolas and I are going to Greece until after the baby's born," she forced out the words with a semisweet smile.

"You – you're pregnant?" Mike asked, it wasn't until he saw his hand shake as he brought it up to touch Courtney's cheek that Mike realized he was the one who was trembling now. His baby girl was pregnant again. Mike's joy to turn to worry when Courtney's only answer was a teary nod and a quick touch to her still flat stomach. "I don't understand," his voice broke through her silent tears. "Your family is here. Nikolas's family, at least all of it that he seems to care about, is here. Why go away? And why, why say that you might not come back?"

Courtney brushed her tears away with her coat sleeve, trying to be strong for her father – she knew that this was going to break his heart. "The doctor's are a little worried, that's all," she said trying to minimize the danger. "Because of what happened before, this isn't going to be an easy pregnancy. We decided," she paused trying to find away to explain. "It's best that I avoid stress and you said yourself it's been a little tense around here."

Mike nodded once, what she said made sense but it didn't explain everything. "But you'll come back once the baby is born," he insisted trying to understand why she'd said she might not return. "I'll get to meet my new grandbaby, won't I?"

"I promise," Courtney whispered hating the words that had to come next, but unwilling to lie to him when this might be their last good-bye. "If I – if I make it, I'll come back."

"If you make it?" Mike's voice shook. "Courtney, what are you saying? Tell me the truth – how '_not easy_' is this pregnancy going to be?"

Courtney stood up abruptly, unable to stay in her seat and recite the details calmly as though her life wasn't falling apart. "Potentially fatal," she confessed, not realizing until she heard her own voice how cold her words would sound. "Dr. Meadows recommended an abortion, but I refused – I'm having this baby."

Mike felt as if he'd just been punched in the gut, or all of the breath had been sucked from his body. He gasped for air, for understanding, he wasn't entirely sure what he was searching for. Finally, he found his voice. "Is this because of Nikolas?" he asked angrily, rising to his feet and grabbing Courtney's shoulder he swung her around to face him. "Is he making you do this? You don't owe him anything, Courtney – certainly not your life."

"No," Courtney's shocked denial stopped him cold. "Nikolas has agreed to support my decision, but if he had his way I would have – I would have done as Dr. Meadows recommended." Courtney's eyes were dry now, her expression fierce and determined as she confronted her father. "This is _my choice_," she said, "and I'm not going to kill another baby."

"You didn't kill your baby," Mike said, trying to soothe her and make her see reason. "And this wouldn't be like that either," Mike said trying to soothe her and make her see reason. "There's nothing wrong with saving your own life."

Nikolas swallowed hard and prayed that Elizabeth had been telling the truth about Emily's hospital schedule as he stepped up to the front door of the Quartermaine mansion. The last thing that he needed today was a confrontation with his ex-wife.

"Emily isn't home," Nikolas was surprised to be greeted by the grating voice of Tracy Quartermaine rather than Alice's rather more welcoming face – though Alice had not been particularly welcoming since his breakup with Emily.

"That's alright," he said calmly brushing past Tracy into foyer. "I'm not here to see Emily; I'm looking for my sister. Is she here?"

"Lulu's in her room," Tracy said sneering as she finished her direction, "just follow that noise she calls music and you shouldn't have any trouble finding her."

"Thank you, Tracy," Nikolas couldn't keep all of the sarcasm out of his response, but he did his best.

"You're welcome," Tracy's voice didn't exactly drip with sincerity either. "And tell your sister to turn off that noise and do her homework!" she called after him.

Nikolas knocked loudly on Lulu's bedroom door wondering if she would be able to hear him over the music. The door didn't open but he did get a response. "Leave me alone, stepmonster," his sister yelled. "I _am_ doing my homework and I'm not turning off the music it helps me concentrate."

Nikolas smiled slightly as he pushed open the door and saw Lulu lying on her bed flipping through a magazine and kicking her feet in the air, not a school book in sight. "And what subject would this be?" he asked picking up the magazine and looking calmly at the faces of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. "Surely this isn't what passes for literature in American schools these days?"

"Nikolas!" Lulu exclaimed twisting around and sliding off the bed holding a mocking hand to her chest. "Jeez, give a girl a heart attack why don't you? You shouldn't sneak up on people like that."

Her brother raised an eyebrow and gave her an amused look as he considered her accusation. "You would have heard the door open if the music wasn't so loud," he told her nodding toward the stereo on her bookcase.

Lulu rolled her eyes at him but flipped the stereo off anyway. "What's up?" she asked sitting down on the bed and looking at her big brother. "Must be something pretty important to bring you buy in the middle of the day and without even a phone call to tell me you would be coming."

"It is," Nikolas nodded somberly. "I talked to Lucky and Elizabeth last night and now I'm coming to see you."

He sat down next to her on the bed, running a gentle hand down her back over the smooth length of her hair. She was a constant source of amazement to him – she had been since she was a baby. For years his little sister had been the only person in the world whose relationship with him had been uncomplicated by lies and betrayal. His love for her had always been simple, straightforward and all encompassing – he had saved her life and in many ways loving her had saved his – when his world came crashing down on him over and over again her smile never changed - for a long time she had been the only person in the world who greeted him with a smile.

"So," Lulu asked a little unnerved by Nikolas's silence – not that he wasn't silent a lot, because he was, but he was obviously here to say something and now he was just sitting there staring at her, "it's bad isn't it?"

"Parts of it," Nikolas agreed, trying to decide how much would be appropriate to say to his little sister. He had told Liz and Lucky everything, but he didn't want to dump that kind of burden on his little sister. Nikolas's hands rested calmly in his lap now, he looked at them remembering the way that Courtney would twist her hands together when she was worried. That sort of nervous habit had been trained out of him along time ago. He had been schooled to never show that sort of emotion – you didn't want your enemies to know what you were thinking, other people paced or bit their nails or – or whatever it was that other people did, but he was a Cassadine so the nervous energy settled in his gut, it twisted him up inside where no one could see it.

"I came to say goodbye," he said at last. "I'm leaving town for awhile."

Lulu felt the first faint prickle of tears behind her eyes and jumped off the bed, suddenly her proximity to Nikolas was unbearable. "So you're leaving," she said her voice deliberately carefree. "How long are you going to be gone?" she would never have asked that question of her father and even with her brother she didn't really expect an answer.

"Lulu," the knot in Nikolas's gut twisted a little tighter as he realized how much this was going to hurt her. He paused, he didn't know what to say to make this better. "I'm not sure," he said at last, "several months at least. Maybe a year." _If the baby survived, if Courtney survived, either one might need time before they could travel._

"A year?" Lulu's voice betrayed her, cracking slightly as she repeated the time frame.

"If I could stay . . ." Nikolas whispered. "I have to go, Lulu. I can't be in Port Charles right now."

"Because of Emily and Courtney," Lulu asked bitterly hating both of them.

"Partly," Nikolas admitted awkwardly, not sure he should be discussing his love life with his teenaged sister.

"Right," Lulu said. "You're running away because you cheated on your wife and you don't like facing her. Are you taking your girlfriend with you?" Finding a person's weak spots seemed to be a skill Lulu had picked up from her father.

"It's not like that Lulu." Nikolas defended himself too quickly.

"So that's a yes then." You and Courtney are going off on some whirlwind vacation so that you don't have to see Emily and Jax."

Lulu was hitting uncomfortably close to home and Nikolas hated it. He hated that she thought so poorly of him, but he didn't know how to defend himself without telling her everything.

"You know how much I love you right?" he asked quietly, hoping he could change the subject and take away some of her hurt without telling her about Courtney's condition.

"Yeah, right. Not enough to stay and face up to your _mistakes_; you're just like Dad." Lulu muttered the words sarcastically, knowing that her accusations would hurt her Nikolas's feelings. She wasn't being fair, she knew that she wasn't. That Nikolas had had to fight to be a part of her life and that he had – that he had always done whatever was necessary to be able to see her. But he was _leaving_ – everyone always left her.

"Courtney's pregnant," Nikolas broke at last, he would tell her everything rather than leave that accusation between them. She needed to know that he would never leave her for so long if he had another choice. "Her doctor – Dr. Meadows doesn't expect her to be able to carry to term." Nikolas walked over to the window and looked out at what was left of Lila Quartermaine's rose garden. There were few things more depressing than a garden in winter so this matched his mood perfectly. "Courtney wants to try, even though a miscarriage . . . she might die too." Hearing his sister gasp he turned back towards her and saw tears filling her eyes but he pushed on having started he needed to get the whole truth out. "She needs to avoid stress, so yes, you're right we're leaving to avoid Jax and Emily. And Courtney's brother, and Lucky and . . . and everyone else who feels the need to put their two cents in regardless of how much stress it causes."

Lulu was instantly swamped by guilt. She was one of those people, she realized. She hadn't said anything to Courtney or Nikolas but she hadn't been shy about sharing her feelings on her brother's new girlfriend with anyone who asked. Nikolas had to have known how she felt and then tonight. She'd been too busy be angry at him for leaving to notice that he was miserable.

"I'm sorry," she whispered going to Nikolas and wrapping her arms around him. She still didn't want him to go, but she wasn't going to try to hold him here.

Nikolas held her for a few minutes, taking comfort in the fact that his little sister loved him. "I'm sorry, too," he said at last. "I don't want to abandon you Lulu."

"You're not abandoning me," Lulu told him. "You're going away for a little while, but you'll be back. You will come back, right?" She couldn't help the touch of doubt in her voice, the question that always plagued her when Luke went off on one of his adventures.

"Of course I'll come back," Nikolas promised squeezing her tighter for just a second before he released her. "This is where my family is."

Lulu's smile was weak but sincere as she nodded at this fact. For a few minutes they stood together as each tried to work up the strength to really say goodbye. Finally Lulu spoke. "I could come with you," she suggested suddenly. "It might be good for Courtney to have someone besides you to hang out with." She poked him in the ribs, "I don't know if you know this about yourself, Nikolas but you're not always the most uplifting presence. Sometimes you can get a little gloomy."

Nikolas had to smile at her accusation but he was already shaking his head as well. "We're going to Greece Lulu, the Cassadine island. I don't think that you coming to live there would go over very well with your father."

Lulu knew her family history well enough to not argue that point. Lulu living on the island where her mother had been a prisoner for two years, the island where Nikolas had been born, Luke wouldn't just hit the roof, he would leave a hole the size of Texas.

"I'm going to miss you," she said finally.

"I'm going to miss you, too," Nikolas said giving her one more hug before he turned to go.

"I don't want to lose you," Mike said at last having finally accepting the fact that Courtney would never agree to an abortion.

"I'm going to do everything I can to get through this, for me and the baby. Dr. Meadows was able to recommend a few doctors in Greece and Nikolas is already having them investigated. We'll find a good doctor and I will do everything that I am told."

"I'll make sure of that," a new voice promised from the door and Courtney looked up, smiling suddenly as she walked into Nikolas's arms.

Nikolas unflinchingly met Mike's gaze over the top of Courtney's head. He wasn't surprised by the anger that he saw in them, but he was startled by the flash of understanding. Somehow Courtney must have convinced her father that he wasn't entirely to blame.

Courtney pulled away from Nikolas and looked back at her father. "I love you, Daddy," she said.

"I love you, too," Mike said giving her one last hug. "And I expect to here from you regularly – lots of letters, lots of phone calls."

"I promise," Courtney said turning to go.

Nikolas turned to follow Courtney, giving Mike a careful nod but expecting no more from him. He was startled when the older man caught his arm and he looked back at him.

"Σας εμπιστεύομαι με την κόρη μου. Την φροντίστε," Mike's Greek was a little rusty but he offered Nikolas his hand

Nikolas nodded, touched by the older man's words. He took Mike's hand in his and met his eyes as they shook. "Υπόσχομαι," he said.

"What did he say to you?" Courtney asked as soon as they were outside.

Nikolas wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his side. "He told me to take care of you," he said simply. "And I said I would, so how about I get you home and put to bed. You need your rest we'll have a long day tomorrow.

Notes – I don't actually speak Greek, so these lines are from an online Greek to English translator. I apologize for any inaccuracies, if anyone out there does speak Greek feel free to correct me.

Σας εμπιστεύομαι με την κόρη μου. Την φροντίστε – I'm trusting you with my daughter. Take care of her.

Υπόσχομαι – I promise.


	9. A Homecoming

_**Chapter Nine: A Homecoming**_

"It's beautiful." Courtney got her first view of her new home from the deck of the boat that carried them out to the island.

"You sound surprised," Nikolas commented with a smirk. "Not what you expected?"

"It's certainly nothing like Wyndemere," Courtney murmured, her eyes riveted to the massive structure that dominated the island. Unlike the small stucco houses in the village below it the villa was built of stone but that was where its similarity to Wyndemere ended. The villa here was bathed in sunlight; it was situated high on a hill overlooking the vineyards and village below it and surrounding it all was the startling blue backdrop of the Aegean Sea. It looked . . . warm.

Nikolas watched Courtney take in her first view of the house with a brooding expression. She was openly curious and eager to arrive at their destination. Nikolas wished that his own feelings could be so easily understood. This island was his home, at least it had been for the first fifteen years of his life, but while there had been happy moments, his had not truly been a happy childhood.

Nikolas's childhood and his memories of this place were too burdened by the expectations of a dynasty for him to relish his return here. This was not the first time he had come here since moving to Port Charles, he had stayed for a night, sometimes two, over the years when circumstances demanded it. This however was the first time he had come with the intention of staying and his stomach was already beginning to tie itself in knots he hoped the sensation would fade over the next several months - he had to force himself to smile. "It is beautiful," he agreed.

'And safe,' the words intruded on Nikolas's thoughts. Whatever else might be true of this island, the essential fact was that this was the one place in the world where he had complete control, where he could protect Courtney from his family and everyone else, even if not from the betrayal of her own body.

"There are things you should know before we get to the island," Nikolas broke the silence as the island loomed ever nearer, "about my family."

"When news gets out that I've returned to Greece, and more importantly that you are pregnant, it will cause a tremendous stir within the family. My family is dangerous - and I'm not just referring to my grandmother. I need you to be on your guard, if _anyone_ approaches you I need you to tell me. I will protect you, but I need to know what's going on."

"Nikolas," Courtney couldn't help but smile in response to Nikolas's intense expression and she reached touching his face. "It'll be okay."

"I'm serious, Courtney," he caught her hand in his own and his tone became even more intense. "My family is dangerous."

"I believe you," Courtney assured him, and she did - one couldn't live in Port Charles for any length of time, certainly not while being involved with the Cassadine prince, without getting an earful about the dangerous Cassadine family. "But Nikolas, so is mine. My life has been in danger from the moment I found out I was Sonny's sister. I've been held at gunpoint more times than I can count. I've been blackmailed, kidnapped and held for ransom. I've lost a child. I - " a hitch in her breath indicated how hard the next words were for Courtney to say, "I've killed a man."

"I know how to be careful, how to be on my guard, and I promise that I _will _be careful and that I'll tell you if anyone tries to get to me," Courtney agreed her own expression finally turning serious. "But I need you to promise me something too. I need to know what's going on; I need you to tell me if there is any specific threat. I won't be kept in the dark, not again, not by you."

"I don't want you to worry," Nikolas protested, "I'm only saying this now so that you'll be on your guard."

"I'll worry more if I don't know what's going on. That is what will cause me the most _stress_." Courtney emphasized the word to remind Nikolas of the reason they were coming here.

"I will tell you when I know anything," Nikolas promised her after a measured silence.

Despite the loopholes Courtney knew that that promise was the best she would get and she was content with it - it was better than she had ever gotten from Sonny and Jason. "Alright then," Courtney smiled turning away from Nikolas and back to the view but holding onto his hand so that as she turned his arm wrapped around her waist and rested on her belly.

* * *

There was a bevy of servants waiting to greet the couple as they put their feet on the solid ground of the Cassadine island and Courtney struggled to maintain a serious expression as Nikolas greeted them and then introduced her instructing them to give her anything she needed. Dismissing the servants back to their duties and observing the ones who hurried to the boat to retrieve their luggage, Nikolas led Courtney toward the path up to the house.

"Most of the time we'll come and go by helicopter, it's faster and will save us the trip up this hill," Nikolas told her, "but this first time I wanted you to see the island from the water."

"I'm glad that I got to see it this way," Courtney agreed as she let him hand her into the waiting car.

The path up to the villa was winding and narrow but the driver had been informed of Courtney's condition and was especially cautious. He knew better than to take any risk with the prince's life or that of his mistress and the possible heir.

Demetrius was waiting for Nikolas in the entrance hall and as he gave Nikolas an update on the arrangement which had been made for their arrival, Courtney amused herself studying her surroundings. The room was filled with tapestries, vases, furniture, all of it antique, but Courtney's attention was drawn to a long empty table and the names engraved on it. The names were strange and most of them unfamiliar: Petros, Victor, Mikkos, Anthony, but her hand stilled as it traced over the last two, those names she knew: Stavros Nikolai Mikkosovich Cassadine, Stefan Darius Mikkosovich Cassadine.

"My family." Nikolas's voice behind her startled Courtney out of her reverie. "The names of the dead are inscribed here. They might be buried elsewhere but all are memorialized here." His own hand rested on the last name - he had ordered this one added himself after his uncle was buried.

"Come on," he pulled her away from the table. "You must be tired from the trip, let me show you to your suite."

"_My_ suite?" Courtney turned on him. "Are we not sharing?"

"I hope you'll invite me to share it," Nikolas replied with a sudden boyish smile as he led her up the stairs and down a long hallway. "But I want you to have your own space." He turned the knob on a heavy wooden door and pushed it open. "So, this is your space."

The room was beautifully appointed, dominated by a high four poster bed with an intricately embroidered quilt. The walls were hung with rich tapestries and the window dominating the south wall looked out over the cliff at the village below and beyond that the water. "It's beautiful, Nikolas."

Nikolas smiled, pleased by her reaction, he didn't volunteer that it had been his mother's room once upon a time, her history here might taint Courtney's enjoyment of the room. "There's a dressing room there," he indicated a door on the right side of the room, "and your bathroom is on the other side of it."

"You're free to choose another room if you wish. After you explore the house you might find another room you like better."

"What about you, where's your room?" she asked.

"Two doors down on the left, I'll be happy to show it to you later" he smiled, pleased that that had been one of her first questions. "You are, of course, welcome there any time you wish," he continued his gaze heating up as he extended the invitation before pulling her close for an intense kiss.

Nikolas broke off the kiss before it could heat up any further. "But that can wait. You," he said interrupting himself for another quick kiss, "need to rest."

"What about you?" Courtney asked refusing to loosen her grip on his shoulders. "I think you should rest too." She nipped at his lower lip before pulling back with an inviting smile. "I would rest much better if you were resting with me."

"Well," he teased her by hesitating. "I have a lot to do today, but nothing that can't wait a while," he concluded as he lifted her into his arms and carried her to the bed.

* * *

Nikolas smiled watching Courtney sleep for a moment before he eased out of her bed. Exhausted by the journey and the rigors of her surgery, she had fallen asleep almost as soon as they had finished making love. Nikolas had not found oblivion so easily.

Being here again would take some adjustment, even the sunlight that filtered in the window seemed in some way different from that back in Port Charles, reminding him of where he was.

Courtney's pregnancy had already begun awakening Nikolas's demons, his fears about his family history, his father and his own ability to be a father. The idea of bringing Courtney here had come on suddenly and had been prompted by Courtney's needs with no thought given to his own fears, now Nikolas would have to wrestle with his demons without laying the burden on Courtney - her own burden was heavy enough.


	10. Making A Memory

_**Chapter Ten: Making a Memory**_

"You know that's a little creepy, right?" Courtney's voice broke Nikolas out of his reverie. Her eyes were still closed, and he hadn't realized she was awake.

"What's 'creepy'?" Nikolas smiled as he repeated the phrase.

"You watching me sleep like that," Courtney opened her eyes at last to find him just as she'd expected. He was turned towards her, propped up on one elbow, staring at her.

"I like watching you sleep," Nikolas murmured pushing himself up from his elbow and twisting his torso he braced himself above her with one arm while he used his free hand to brush a lock of hair off of Courtney's cheek before bending closer to kiss her. "I like having you here, in my bed, being able to look at you whenever I want. You look so beautiful," he was bracing himself with both hands now, his legs tangling with Courtney's as he loomed over her.

"Like I said," Courtney whispered the words against his lips as he leaned closer to kiss her again, "creepy."

"I'm a Cassadine," Nikolas acknowledged as he pushed himself away falling back on the bed next to her, "I think 'creepy' is in my DNA and being here brings it out," he sighed. "I apologize if I made you uncomfortable."

"You don't make me uncomfortable, Nikolas." Courtney's soft assurance caught Nikolas by surprise, the teasing smile that followed didn't, "I knew about the creepiness factor when I got involved with you and I don't mind it."

"Good to know."

"Besides," her voice softened, "I like that you like looking at me."

"I do like looking at you," Nikolas repeated, "but there are other things I like doing more." This time Nikolas's mouth found hers with greater purpose as his hands slipped under the silky material of her pajamas.

"Nikolas," Courtney sighed his name as her arms came up to wrap around his neck, one hand threading in his hair as she gave herself up to his touch . . .

**Some time later:**

"Thank you for bringing me here," sitting on a stone bench looking out at the water Courtney leaned back into Nikolas's arms, "I know you have a lot of work to do today."

"Nothing that can't wait," Nikolas assured her, resting his chin on the crown of her head as he watched the waves crashing before them. "I wanted to bring you here now, while you could still manage the walk." Courtney was just beginning her second trimester and she still felt healthy, but the doctor had already warned them that it wouldn't be long before she had to go on bed rest to optimize her chances of a successful pregnancy.

"My uncle used to bring me here when I was young," Nikolas began to speak again after a few minutes of silence. "We would spend hours at a time watching the ocean. He told me once that this was my mother's favorite place on the island," the time since his death had mellowed Nikolas's resentment towards Stefan, leaving him with the memories of the small moments between them and of his uncle's unwavering love and support.

"Of course," he continued ruefully, "I didn't find out until much later that this is where he used to meet my mother in secret while they hid their affair from my father." This was the first time Nikolas had come to the cove in more than ten years – since he learned the whole truth of his mother's relationships with his uncle and his father. In the visits he had made to the island since then he had avoided this spot, but today he'd felt the need to bring Courtney here. Perhaps he was also hoping to purge some of the lingering bitterness over the lie that was his childhood, but for the most part finally understood why his uncle had returned to this spot so faithfully over the years. Here Stefan could hold on to the memory of his love for Laura. Watching Courtney sleep this morning, Nikolas had known that he needed to bring her here, to build at least one memory of her in this place that was so much a part of his history – he needed a memory that he would be able to revisit when he came here.

"Your mother had an affair with your uncle?" Courtney's startled question broke into Nikolas's thoughts before he could lose himself in his worries.

"Oh yes," he murmured into her hair, "I forget that you don't really know my family history." Nikolas sighed, "The whole thing was embarrassingly public when it came out, so I tend to assume everyone knows, but it was before you came to Port Charles, and it's not really something that people bring up in casual conversation."

"Alright, I get that it's probably not your favorite topic of conversation," Courtney said turning to look up at him after he lapsed back into silence, "but you can't just leave me hanging like that. I'm going to need a story here."

"Hmm. . ." Nikolas considered the request for a moment before acquiescing. "The short version then," he said, "the full family history can wait for another time." It was too beautiful a day to spend recounting the sordid history of the Cassadine family in its entirety – Stavros's resurrection could certainly wait for another occasion, but Stefan and Laura – where better than the cove to tell their story?

"My father was a monster, and my mother was miserable here," Nikolas spoke the painful truth about his parents for the first time in years. "This island was her prison and my father was both her jailer and her tormentor. She married him because he promised to protect her from Helena, who had kidnapped her and brought her here – she found out too late that he at least as great a threat as Helena. By the time she found that out she was his wife – to his mind, his property – to do with as he pleased."

"My uncle . . ." Nikolas struggled to find words to explain the man who had been the very foundation of his life, "Stefan was the younger son, as such he was as trapped by the Cassadine family as Laura was, maybe more so. He fell in love with his brother's wife and, she – I don't know what motivated Laura, I've never been able to understand the choices that she made – she found comfort with him, I guess."

"Things . . . took their natural course and my uncle spent most of my life believing that he was probably my father and pretending not to be. In the end, DNA tests confirmed that he was my uncle and Stavros was my father," Nikolas concluded well aware that he was leaving out significant details, but none that needed mentioning at this point.

Courtney continued to stare at him for a long moment after he finished the story. "Your family is seriously screwed up," she said at last, "you know that right?"

"You don't know the half of it," Nikolas laughed, relieved at her accurate but nevertheless lighthearted response, "remind me to tell you about my grandfather's weather machine some time."

Turning back around to face the ocean as she leaned back into Nikolas's embrace, Courtney let the sound of the waves mix with the sound of Nikolas breathing. She would ask Nikolas about his grandfather another day, today the sun was shining, the view was beautiful and she was safe in the arms of the man she loved.

"It's amazing," she broke the silence a few minutes later, "how time and circumstances can change everything."

"You mother was miserable here and this island was her prison, but for me – it's – I feel safe here, Nikolas. I don't remember the last time I felt this safe."

"And maybe it's an illusion, because your psycho grandmother or some other relative could show up at any time or . . ." Courtney's 'or' went unsaid; she refused to even speak that possibility out loud. "But despite all that, I feel safe here, safe with you."

"I promised you paradise," Nikolas reminded her. "I can't promise it'll last forever, but while we're here I can keep you safe." _From everyone except yourself_. He could protect her from his family and her brother's enemies, from his ex-wife and her soon-to-be ex-husband, but not from the betrayal of her own body or her stubborn refusal to accept the advice of her doctors. Every day that passed Courtney fell more in love with the child she was carrying and the odds of her own survival dropped and there was nothing that Nikolas could do about that – he had promised to support her choice and she had made it.

"Come on," Nikolas wasn't going to let himself get weighted down by his fears, not today and not here. He had brought her here to make a memory with her, a memory of her that would last forever. He stood quickly and drawing her to her feet led her down to the water.

"You once told me that when you were young you would walk on the beach and dream about all of the other shores the ocean touched," he reminded her. "Well, this is one of those shores you were dreaming of, is it how you imagined it?"

"It's so much better," Courtney whispered looking up at him now instead of out across the water as she had done in Atlantic City, "because I never could have imagined you."

"And you," Courtney asked. "You said that you had the same dreams, but this is the beach you must have been walking on then. You could be on any of those other beaches now, but you came back."

"It wasn't the beach I was trying to get away from," Nikolas remembered, "or even really the island. . . I was lonely here. I thought if I was somewhere else, maybe I wouldn't be alone."

"Now you're here with me; that's all I can ask for."

* * *

A/N: I apologize for the long delay and for the fact that this chapter is ridiculously sappy – that's not going to become a trend. Hopefully the long delays are over. I can't promise that but I can promise that this story hasn't been and won't be abandoned.

I also want to offer a special thanks to kaibre for the review/gentle reminder that there is actually someone out there who liked this story and maybe wouldn't mind seeing the rest of it, hopefully this won't disappoint.


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